As soon as I saw this headline on the AP national "Strange News" wire, I knew it was Oklahoma state senator Frank Shurden (D-Henryetta). Although decent on economic issues, Shurden is a social joke - he wants sex offenders (including high school students who sleep with junior-high students, who are "sex offenders" in just about every state) castrated, and has tried for two decades to get that bill passed and signed by the Governor. He actually got it passed a few years ago, but even nutcase Gov. Frank Keating (R) wisely vetoed it, leaving the state out of the teen amputation business.

Shurden represents a part of the state that made $100 million per year on cockfighting, and was the main reason the legislature couldn't ban the sport for the twenty years before the 2002 election. (See Cock and Bull Stories for more on Shurden's comedy of errors trying to get the cockfighting ban eviscerated the day after it was passed.)

It all failed - the bills failed, the court challenges failed, everything failed, and Oklahoma finally stands with 47 other states in banning chicken fights the same way it bans dogfighting and other animal fighting - the same way the legislature intended in 1964, but was stymied by a court ruling that said chickens are not "animals."

Has he given up? Hell no!

OKLAHOMA CITY - A state senator has a plan for saving Oklahoma's gamefowl industry now that cockfighters are legally prohibited from pitting birds fitted with razor-like spurs.

State Sen. Frank Shurden, a longtime defender of cockfighting, is suggesting that roosters be given little boxing gloves so they can fight without bloodshed. The proposal is in a bill the Democrat has introduced for the legislative session that begins Feb. 7.

"Who's going to object to chickens fighting like humans do? Everybody wins," Sen. Frank Shurden said.

...except the chickens that spend their lives punching each other?

Oklahoma voters banned cockfighting in 2002. The practice is still legal in Louisiana and New Mexico.

Removing the blood from the sport takes away the main argument animal rights groups have against cockfighting, Shurden said.

"Let the roosters do what they love to do without getting injured," Shurden said.

The roosters don't "love" to fight, Frank - they're trained from chicks to do it, like dogs used to be trained to kill each other. At least this time, rather than winking at the underground gambling of the fights, Shurden wants them regulated:

Shurden's legislation would create the Oklahoma Pari-mutuel Gamecock Boxing Act.

The Oklahoma Horse Racing Commission, which has jurisdiction over pari-mutuel horse racing, would have jurisdiction over this gamecock boxing.

Shurden believes it could be incorporated into horse racing, providing the boxing between horse races.

Some of the money earned from wagers on gamecock boxing matches would go to the state.

"I guarantee it would work," Shurden said of the nonlethal fighting of roosters.

Yeah, like castrating teenagers would stop pre-marital sex.

Shurden said he's not trying to amend the existing cockfighting ban, something he tried the past few years without success.

Uh-huh. The opposition:

Janet Halliburton, an attorney who led the initiative petition drive to ban cockfighting, said, "What this is going to do is make a platform for him to continually try to amend the existing ban. They don't want electronic cockfighting any more than anybody else does, or they'd be doing it."

Since the cockfighting ban doesn't apply to these non-lethal things anyway, the only reason Shurden and his gambling supporters need this bill at all is to let them keep all their lethal cockfighting birds and equipment, but just put boxing gloves on the birds instead of razor blades. That way, if they can get the ban overturned again somehow, the cockfighting business is ready to start again within hours.

Shurden is one of the reasons that I'm not completely opposed to term limits. This is his last term in the legislature - he's out in two years. He grandstands on cockfighting and castration, but wanted to allow expunging the records of serious drug felonies (including soliciting minors to distribute, and prescription drug abuse and sales). I'd prefer more equitable election access to term limits, but this guy needs to be put out of Oklahoma's misery.