From TMQ, still my favorite football column despite Easterhackerry:

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Just try not refrigerate the mitre saw and put the mayo in with the ratchet set. '

Let's Turn on the Air Conditioner and Build a Fire: TMQ lives in the suburbs and has an old refrigerator in the garage -- having a lot of worthless stuff in the garage makes me feel patriotic. If you put a refrigerator in the garage, the compressor, which is designed to work at room temperature, shuts down when the air drops near the freezing mark. Then you have the absurdity of a device designed to keep things cold becoming warm inside because it's cold outside. But never fear, suburban technology is here -- in the form of the new Whirlpool garage refrigerator. The garage refrigerator contains a heater that warms the compressor when the temperature dips below freezing. Yes, a device designed to keep things cold contains a heater so it will continue to make cold air when making cold air is unnecessary because it's cold out. Only in America! When I went shopping for garage refrigerators, I knew there would be a high-tech, energy-consuming answer to my problem. Check out Whirlpool's new line of fancy garage appliances, marketed under the slogan, "It's time to rethink the garage." How long until home buyers want a garage with faux-granite countertops and a bathroom with Jacuzzi?

I'll worry more when they have faux-concrete floors. Be sure to read the TMQ column's next section for what even I must admit is an insightful analysis of how the last play of the Alamo Bowl should have been called.