And thus Ze Frank leaves us to join the Hamster Dance and the "Star Wars" Kid in the Internet Hall Of Fame.

I can't tell you why I haven't been writing lately.

I've been at work, in the chair, 10-14 hours per day, seven days a week, since the end of January. That's 2-4 hours less per day than a decade ago, but I was younger then and had a healthier heart, for all I know.

I know what we need to say, but it doesn't get said.

On some days it comes in great bursts that are about 80% of what I need, but the next day the next 20% doesn't come. I try to force it and nothing happens. I try to let it sneak up and nothing happens.

I have this lingering suspicion that it's actual depression. I think I had some of that in July (though then I called it "anger"), October, and December. It was a long trip to rework MDJ to the current level of resources, and finally, in June 2006, we had it. 15 issues in 4 weeks including the MDJ Power 25.

And then I started feeling like shit. I don't feel like shit anymore, although I don't have as much energy as I did in 2004 or 2005, but still - we had it. It was here. It was in my hands and then it went away.

It's been a lot harder for me to deal with than I wanted to admit.

I see my doctor on Tuesday, and I'm going to ask him about Prozac or other SSRI medications. If it's depression, I need to get it taken care of.

I've come close to getting everything humming along a few times in the past two weeks, but for the past eight or nine days, I've been having unexpected naps - I lie down for just a minute because my back hurts (still losing weight!) and I blink and it's anywhere from 90 to 180 minutes later. It just destroys anything I have going, and everything from caffeine to Provigil isn't stopping it. I don't think I need more sleep, but who knows.

I need that sleep study done, too. Maybe that will make me sleep longer and therefore not need naps, and it would certainly help with any apnea that I'm told I have. I just have to figure out how that's going to work when it has to be a) during the day and b) 40 miles from here. I'll ask about it Tuesday.

I can't tell you why all this is happening. I just know that it is. It makes me unhappy.