It shouldn't be embarrassing to admit this but somehow it is: I'm a linguistic unitasker. Or maybe just an auditory one, I'm not sure.

You have to multitask in the modern world, and I can do that quite well. I can work on four documents at once, keep 2-3 computers going with different tasks, read news while I cook or do laundry, talk on the phone while cleaning up, and so forth. Even iOS 4's idea of "multitasking" seems limited to me most of the time because I don't like having to switch full contexts so often. I'm a multitasker, make no mistake.

But not when it comes to language.

I can only process one stream of language at a time. I don't listen to many podcasts because when I do, I can't read with any level of comprehension or write at the same time. When I take a phone call, I must pause or mute any other audio signals in the room, or completely block them out. I can't watch a breaking news bulletin and keep up an unrelated conversation at the same time. When people are talking on the car radio, I can't carry on a conversation with another person in the car: I can talk or listen to the radio, but not both. I often listen to music while writing, but if a song comes on where the lyrics make an impression, the writing stops. I had the TV on while writing this, but other than a couple of phrases when I paused between writing sentences, I can't tell you what they were saying.

It seems more and more like I'm the only one with this limitation in the modern world. Most of my friends seem to handle phone calls, podcasts, and TV shows all running at the same time with perfect understanding of all of them. I know some people who read while listening to podcasts or lectures, but the thought of that just makes my brain cry.

I feel better that I'm not completely helpless here: I can listen to live conference calls and type updates to live blogs (or Twitter) without missing much, but I can't also keep CNBC going to hear what they're saying. (I turn on the closed captioning and try to read it during slow parts.) Everyone can pick out one conversation in a crowded room and listen to it, and I can do that too, so I don't always have to mute the TV or Internet when I'm on the phone—but I do if I want to understand both audio streams.

It's all the more perplexing to me because it only seems to be spoken language. I can read 3-4 articles at the same time, darting between them and not losing any context. I can listen to complex music and hear all the parts simultaneously, even picking out mistakes or off pitches in rehearsal situations. I would think that if it was real "auditory unitasking," I'd only be able to pick out one instrument in a band or orchestra and follow that, but that's not the case. I can read an orchestral score and follow along without problems.

But two conversations at once just shut down my brain. Am I the only one?