From today's Altercation:

I bought a copy of Susan Sontag reading “The Volcano Lover” from Dove Audio.  Upon receiving it I see that it contains “unabridged excerpts.”  What the f**k?  What next, you enemies of the English language?  Apple Oranges?  Venusian Martians?  Liberal Media?

When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I read a Reader's Digest joke book where someone was puzzled over a book labeled "Abridged and Uncensored." At a party, he asked the publisher what such a confusing phrase could mean.

He was told, "That's easy. 'Abridged' mean we left the boring parts out. 'Uncensored' means we left the dirty parts in."

So, "unabridged excerpts" means "We picked the best sections and then didn't leave out their boring parts." Duh.