Dear football announcers:

Every pass that comes near or touches a defender was not "almost intercepted." I know this must surprise you, given your predilections, but it is true.

For example, when a pass short-hops off the turf and skips three feet in front of a defender, it was not "almost intercepted," even if no receiver was in the area. "Could have been intercepted had the defender been in a slightly better position" is not the same as "almost intercepted." The latter implies that, in the reality of the play you just witnessed, that the interception almost happened. Being near an incomplete pass does not count.

Just as a receiver who touches a pass only to deflect it six feet into the air did not "almost catch" the pass, a defender who tips a pass at its end point did not "almost intercept" it.

If the ball went into a defender's hands and he dropped it, or should have caught it, or if he otherwise would have been expected to catch it had he been a wide receiver, then yes, that ball was "almost intercepted." If he just touched the ball, or if it was within a five-yard radius of his hands, it was not "almost intercepted."

Please pull your heads out of your asses and stop saying otherwise.

Thank you.