Sen. Arlen Specter
United States Senate

Dear Sen. Specter,

Deputy Leader Cheney is in trouble for shooting an old man with a shotgun. Questions are being raised because his excuses don't fit the facts of the case. As the inventor of the Warren Commission's Magic Bullet Theory, you're the only person who can help him build a scenario where his excuses make sense.

The General has outdone himself this time, even though I'm one of those few people who really believes in the "magic" bullet because, well, the evidence and the laws of physics support it. Feel free to read more.