Why, it just couldn't be that the Oklahoman would hide bad news about GOP candidates again, would it?

Maybe it would.

Chris Oliver, an Oklahoma City Republican, has announced he will run for the state House District 85 seat.

The seat is held by state Rep. Odilia Dank, R- Oklahoma City, who is leaving office this year because of legislative term limits.

Oliver, 42, has managed a small, family- owned business in northwest Oklahoma City for more than 20 years, he said.

So far, so good - until you realize that what the Oklahoman is not telling you is that Chris Oliver apparently is only a "Republican" because Oklahoma has no chapter of the America First Party. You remember those guys, right? They're the ones who left the Reform Party because the original members wouldn't let Pat Buchanan make it batshit crazy enough to suit them.

If you've never read the party platform, give it a whirl. They're classic 19th-century isolationists. No military bases outside the United States, a ten-year moratorium on legal immigration, no involvement with the global community, no UN funding. Plus all the domestic right-wing hits: forced Christianity in the schools (required prayer, required Ten Commandments, ability for parents to pull kids out of schools at taxpayer expense if anyone mentions that Teh Gay People exist, all the usual theocratic stuff), carving out special rights for heterosexual couples, eliminating about half the federal government, and so on. Only one amendment to the constitution has "special" status - the 2nd. Congress would have the power to reverse judicial rulings that "misinterpret" the law or the Constitution. You know the story - people who aren't them should be taxed to provide only those services that these guy want, and all law has to filter through their interpretation of the Bible.

Oliver, E.Z. Million, and David Wilkinson of Oklahoma were accepted as members of the America First Party National Committee three years ago, on May 20, 2003. Given that E.Z. Million is also running for office (lieutenant governor, for a single reason that now can't come to pass anyway), I think it's the same Oliver.

One of his efforts will be maintaining and improving the quality of the state's schools, Oliver said.

The key to improving education and academic achievements is better utilization of tax dollars, he said.

According to the America First Party, the "better utilization of tax dollars" is to have fewer of them and then not to spend them. The party, of which Oliver was a National Committee member, opposes federal funding of education. The Wikipedia article says they oppose state funding for education as well, but the platform just says that state groups should adopt their own education strategy. Since they have none for Oklahoma, perhaps they think schools are unnecessary.

They're on the record against vo-tech, school to work, sex education, "sensitivity workshops" (and by this, they mean them being told to be sensitive to others - they're all in favor of forcing you to be sensitive to their religious beliefs), "and a host of other programs that proliferate in our schools and seek to corrupt our children and undermine parental authority and traditional family values."

Being nice to other people "undermines parental authority" and "corrupts our children." Nice of them to make it that plain.

A more efficient state government would allow lower taxes and help Oklahoma compete with other states, Oliver said.

Oklahoma already has one of the lowest overall and corporate tax rates in the nation, and these charges of "inefficiency" always seem to come from the absolute nuttiest of the right-wing nutcases, the ones who explicitly want to drown government in the bathtub because somewhere, somehow, someone might be getting something that these people think he doesn't deserve.

It's the underlying movement behind all of financial social conservatism. Someone somewhere got welfare money she didn't deserve? Dismantle welfare! Someone stole food in New Orleans after the hurricane to survive? Leave them all to their fate! Some community somewhere got a museum or building that I'd never want to go in? Defund all community projects! If they can't have absolute control over it, they want it killed dead.

Jesus fed 5000 people from five loaves and two fishes. These guys want to build a fence around the food and dispatch 10,000 marshals to escort the 5000 back to their homes and make sure they don't get any food they didn't bring or buy.

Fortunately, the voters of House District 85 will have a genuinely good person on their ballot to vote for this November. But isn't it just amazing how the Oklahoman keeps leaving out these embarrassing details about GOP candidates? Like how they'd rather be America-Firsters but can't get that party on the ballot in Oklahoma?

Such coincidences.