"Wacky warning labels are a sign of our lawsuit-plagued times," said Robert B. Dorigo Jones, president of the nonprofit group working to raise public awareness of how the explosion in litigation is harming the country.

Taking first prize last week was a warning found on a bottle of drain cleaner. The label reads: "If you do not understand, or cannot read, all directions, cautions and warnings, do not use this product."

Sure, it's fun to make sport of the warning labels that are obviously too contrived and too ridiculous, but make no mistake: the "non-profit" group involved is one of those far-right tort reform organizations, whose ultimate goal is preventing you from access to the courts if you're injured by a defective product or service. These are the folks that want damages capped at some small number no matter what the injury, and to raise such barriers to suing that only corporations - their sponsors - can do it.

"It used to be that if someone spilled coffee in their lap, they simply called themselves clumsy. Today, too many people are calling themselves an attorney."

Ha, ha! How droll! What a biting reference to that woman who got splashed with hot McDonald's coffee! Until you learn that the 79-ear-old woman involved got third-degree burns, eight days in a hospital, and two years of disability. And that McDonald's knew its coffee was too hot for the cups it was using, settling some claims for half a million dollars.

But, then again, we've discussed the famous "hot coffee lawsuit" myth before.